Grief and the Holidays: Caring for Yourself and Honoring Your Loved One

The holiday season is often depicted as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for many, it’s also a time of profound grief, especially if a loved one has passed away. The absence of someone important can make the holidays feel heavier, more difficult to navigate, and at times, isolating. It’s important to acknowledge that grief doesn’t take a break for the holidays. In fact, the season can sometimes bring those emotions into sharper focus.

If you’re grieving a loss during the holidays, you’re not alone in feeling the weight of the season. The sights, sounds, and traditions that once brought joy can now serve as painful reminders of the person who is no longer with you. While there’s no “right” way to grieve or experience loss, there are steps you can take to care for yourself as you navigate this difficult time, while also finding meaningful ways to honor your loved one.

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Grief doesn’t pause for the holidays. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or even numb. Don’t force yourself to act cheerful if you’re not ready. Honor your emotions and take breaks when needed.

2. Create New Traditions or Modify Old Ones

Instead of trying to recreate past holidays, consider creating new traditions to honor your loved one. This might include lighting a candle in their memory, visiting a place they loved, or volunteering for a cause they cared about.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Grieving is exhausting. Be kind to yourself by getting rest, eating well, and engaging in gentle activities like walking or meditating. Set boundaries to avoid overcommitting and take time for quiet reflection.

4. Reach Out for Support

You don’t have to grieve alone. Seek support from friends, family, or a counselor. Share your feelings and let others know how they can help, whether it’s offering a listening ear or respecting your need for space. This holiday season, the Ecumen Hospice team is offering free presentations to help you navigate grief. These events are open to all and will be held at the following locations: Ecumen Seasons at Apple Valley, Ecumen Seasons at Maplewood, Ecumen Litchfield, Ecumen Pathstone, Ecumen Lakeshore, and Ecumen North Branch.

5. Honor Your Loved One’s Memory

Take time to celebrate your loved one’s life. Light a candle, share stories, or make a donation to Ecumen in their name. These small acts can help keep their memory alive during the holidays.

6. Consider a Low-Key Approach

You don’t have to participate in every tradition or event. Opt for a simpler, quieter holiday if that feels more comforting. Take things one day at a time and listen to what you need.

7. Let Go of Guilt

Allow yourself to experience moments of joy without guilt. It’s okay to laugh or enjoy the season. Grief and joy can coexist, and embracing both is part of healing.

Navigating the holidays while grieving is difficult, but with self-compassion and meaningful ways to remember your loved one, you can move through this season with tenderness and resilience.