In addition to aging, another thing we all have in common is dying. Atlanta reader Susan Landis (and mother of Ecumen director of real estate developement Dana Wollschlager), who works in aging services, recently shared this story that a lot of people can relate to. Aging is all about living … even when you’re thinking about the end of life …

Susan Landis with her parents Robert and Bette Ryff.

My father is describing how he met my mother, the love of his life for over 60 years. ‘The first time I saw her was at a USO dance,’ he says. ‘I could see her dancing with this guy. He was a terrible dancer. I thought I better save her from this guy she’s dancing with,’ his New York accent coming through.My mother chimes in, ‘My girlfriend and I had just moved to Seattle and I met him the first day I was there.’ We met in May and were married in November.’I’ve heard this story a thousand times before. The story is not for me though; it’s for the funeral consultant we are meeting with. ‘Wow,’ says the consultant, ‘you didn’t know each other very long before you married. You’re lucky it all worked out.”Yes,’ Mom says, ‘I guess staying together for 63 years could be called lucky.’Everyone laughs. Things are going better than I thought they would when I picked up my parents this afternoon for a trip to the cemetery. Let’s face it; planning your funeral is not the most pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon. When she gets into the car, Mom says she started to feel sick just before I got there; kind of nauseous and dizzy.’You know,’ she says,’ most of the time I just don’t think about it, dying I mean. You just kind of forget about it. When I felt bad just now I realized it really is going to happen someday. We are going to die.”I know what you mean.’ I respond.And I do know exactly what she means. It’s so easy to just push thoughts like that to the back of your mind. After all, you don’t want to dwell on those kinds of thoughts. It would be morbid and depressing. It’s easy because we are so busy with work or family or just the everyday activities of cleaning, shopping, cooking etc. And the time just flies by. Suddenly I am 61 and my parents are in their eighties and I cannot imagine a world without these loving, generous, kind, funny people in it.I have mapquested our little journey. I’m relatively new to Georgia and our destination is over 50 miles away. Mom rides shotgun and is the navigator. She’s always been good at reading maps. I am more like my father and we are good at getting lost. Dad asks, ‘What’s the first street we are looking for?’The scenery is beautiful with forested rolling hills and it is a nice enough day. ‘Wow,’ Mom says, ‘you’ll need to pack a lunch when you come out here. It’s quite the trip.”You missed the turn,’ shouts Dad. We double back. ‘You know,’ I say ‘Andy and Dionne are always late. We will have to get them started two hours in advance just to make the funeral in time.’ Now we are laughing and making ‘funeral trip’ jokes. ‘Oh look,’ I say, ‘there’s a Garden Ridge Store. I say we stop and shop on the way home.’By the time we reach the funeral home and cemetery we are laughing and complimenting my Dad on his good observational skills in catching our wrong turns. For once, he has found the way.And now I am listening as my parents recount their first meeting and discuss where they want their remains to be located. My Mom’s people are buried on a hill outside of a little town called Valley City in North Dakota. My Dad’s folks are in St. Raymond’s Cemetery in the heart of New York City. Dad votes for Valley City and Mom votes for New York because it’s such an exciting place. More laughter and finally the details are worked out. On the way home we stop and Mom and I shop while Dad patiently waits.We find the perfect item for Mom’s mantle piece and head back home with out treasures. Just before we turn down the street to my parent’s home, my Mom reaches over and touches my arm. ‘The next time you take this trip,’ she says, ‘I want you to remember how much fun we had today and how we laughed. Remember that.’My eyes well with tears, but I smile. I will remember that. I will remember that my parent’s love extended even to those difficult things in life. I will remember that they carefully planned their exit so that those of us who love them so very much will have nothing to think about on that day except all the beautiful memories of our lives with them. Thanks Mom and Dad………….